Have you given up yet? If you are reading this on the day it is posted, it is January 22. If you are like most people, you have given up on your New Year’s Resolution by now. A study by fitness app Strava and numerous other studies discovered that most (more than 60%!) people give up on their resolutions by January 19.
Like most people, I have also needed help keeping my past resolutions. For me, the same cycle leads to broken resolutions. I would start strong; life obligations such as car maintenance or a family trip would get in the way, and I would miss a few days. Then, I would decide, “Oh, forget it.” When the end of the year arrived, I would suffer the crushing disappointment of getting nowhere close to my goals. However, the second the clock turned to January 1, I would tell myself, “This is the year.” Rinse. Wash. Repeat. Of course, the cycle repeated itself for years until I managed to break it.
How did I break this cycle of not-achieving?
First, I will share what I did not do to begin to get my goals back on track:
There was no magic productivity system
There was no particular nootropic or perfect amount of caffeine
There was no ten-minute ritual of brushing my teeth a certain way and then doing the hokey pokey seven times.
Instead, I followed a three-step process to set and review the goals. Then, every time I would get off track, I would repeat this process.
- Established a “why.”
Setting The Goal
Whenever I set a goal, I would ask myself (no, not in the existential crisis kind of way), “Why do I want to accomplish this?” Maybe you want to get in shape so you can be around longer for your kids. Perhaps you want to afford a house one day, so you want to be more diligent with spending and savings. Maybe you want to start reading again because you miss conversing about your new book.
As long as you establish one, it doesn’t matter how un-serious the “Why” is.
When I’m Off Track
Every time I got off track and felt “Oh, maybe next year” creeping into my head, I would review the “why” I had written down. This bigger-picture motivation helped me keep my head down and work, even when I did not want to.
2. Adjust the S.M.A.R.T. goal elements.
S.M.A.R.T. stands for Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Time Bound.
Setting The Goal
S.M.A.R.T. stands for Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Realistic. Time Bound.
You want to ensure that your goals meet this framework from the beginning. You can adjust the elements from time to time (as discussed below), but starting in the right direction is crucial.
When I’m Off Track
If I struggle with a goal, I often look at one of the S.M.A.R.T. elements to see if I need to change it.
I have a tendency to set goals that are not attainable, so that is where a lot of my edits take place.
Another standard error is that the goal you are shooting for is so large that the time-bound element is too far out to be effective. Goals need to be broken into smaller, measurable steps.
3. Get An Accountability Buddy
Setting The Goal
Contact one of your friends who has goals for the new year, tell them about your goals, and set up a check-in email between the two of you at a regular interval.
While I prefer weekly check-ins, daily or bi-weekly checks will also serve the purpose.
Why is the accountability buddy so effective? Think about how much harder it is to tell a friend, “I didn’t do what I said I would,” versus telling yourself, “Oh, I’ll get back to it next week.” If you have good friends, they will want to see you succeed, and it will become more challenging and more mentally demanding to tell them you haven’t been keeping up.
Even if you don’t have physical friends willing to participate, social media will allow you to connect with people with similar goals. No excuses here!
When I’m Off Track
I contact my accountability buddy because my goals are measurable; I let them know how far off-track I am. Usually, the pain of having to say this out loud is a sufficient motivator.
The meeting also allows your accountability partner to ask probing questions about your “why,” your structure, or other elements and determine if the goal is one you genuinely want to pursue.
By implementing these three steps, you can get your new year’s goals back on track.
Be on the lookout over the next few weeks, when I will further dive into each step of this process.
See you next Monday.
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